Palms Buffet Menu Prices 🍔 - PriceListo

Buffets: Why are some food items specifically tagged “all you can eat ?”

TLDR: Just the title
I may be wrong but all my life I’ve just assumed a buffet means you pay a price and you eat unholy amounts foods until you can’t anymore.
Reason I ask is I’m going to Vegas next month and obviously I’m going to try out a buffet or two. However I noticed things listed such as “all you can eat crab legs/ or shrimp” or whatever. Got me thinking...why are crab legs specifically “all you can eat?”
Shouldn’t everything at a buffet be all you can eat? The ones I’ve been to were like that. Or am I wrong in assuming high end luxury Vegas buffets did the same thing? There’s also this place called Palms Resort casino in Vegas which has A.Y.C.E buffet (all you can eat) why would they name it that?
Are the other Vegas buffets NOT all you can eat?
Bonus question: Las Vegas foodies...is it worth the money to eat brunch at Paris Hotel? I chose this because it’s close to my hotel (Flamingo)
submitted by Retrolord008 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

Hey, you're going to Las Vegas for RLCS LAN? Here's a quick run down for what you need to know if you are not a regular.

I'm a Vegas regular. I travel there for work and play between 6-10 times a year. I've been to Vegas somewhere around 70 times.
Here are some tips, in no particular order.
Orleans Arena is "off strip". It is part of the Orleans Hotel and Casino. If you choose to stay at The Orleans, you will have a 10 minute ubelyft back and forth from the strip. The Strip is the part of Vegas that you always see when you think of Vegas. It's called Las Vegas Boulavard. Orleans is a property that basically has nothing around it, and there is not really much to see without a 20 minute walk to the Palms, or a 20 minute walk to the Rio.
If you are only going to eat, drink, and breathe RLCS, staying at the Orleans is probably a good idea. But if you want to experience Vegas, you want to stay on the strip.
Lodging can be had for cheap, up to more expensive. The cost of hotel rooms is usually based on the property location on the strip, as the more central hotels are the nicer ones.
Bellagio, Aria, and the Cosmo are the best places to stay that are in the middle. They will cost anywhere between $250-$400 a night. A great central location hotel that is more economical is Planet Hollywood, which is right across from the Bellagio. Rooms can be had here for closer to $150 a night.
If you go to the end of the strip, you can have rooms for under $100, such as treasure island, Park MGM, NYNY, and Mandalay Bay, and if you really want to live economical on strip, you can go somewhere like Luxor (far end of strip) The Linq (more middle) and The Mirage.
Any of the places listed above are on strip, and you can get the full Vegas experience. Hotels such as the Palms, Gold Coast, the Rio, Stratosphere, and the Hard Rock are so far off strip that they are extremely isolated from walking distance to most of the action in Vegas.
Weather.... You're going to the Western US in the Desert, the Western US in the Desert is not what you would expect in November. You will be lucky to see temperatures above 70F, and at night it will drop down into the low 40's. Bring warm clothes!
Walking around vegas:
DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT purchase a single thing from a street vendor. They will try selling you drink coupons, VIP tickets to shows, discounted show tickets, and just about any drug imaginable. Do not give any of these people money for any reason.
While I do not any drugs, some of my friends do, and now that marijuana is completely legal in Las Vegas, everyone raves about going to Essence Cannabis Dispensary. I've been there, and it is amazing, but I can't really speak for their product.
Skanks.... DO NOT be taken advantage of the "street walkers" and "casino crawlers" that are trying to be your friend, will want to go to your room, and after "the deed" is complete, will extort you for money. The rule of thumb, if a girl approaches you in a casino, or on the strip and is acting over friendly, they are probably a hooker, and their pimp is probably within shouting distance.
You can drink on the strip, but you CANNOT have glass. It is usually cheaper to purchase liquor or beer from one of the many CVS stores on strip.
All casinos will give you free drinks while you are playing, but sometimes the waitresses are few and far between. If you are going to be at a craps table or a slot machine for a long time, it is always a good idea to tip them very well and they will come by often.
I stay at the Bellagio the most, but my favorite places to gamble (I don't play slot machines) is a place called O'Sheas in The Linq. It is a total party atmosphere with live bands, beer pong, bean bags, and tons of table games. I think there are close to 50 tables. I'm a sucker for 3 card, and can play there for 10 hours straight.
McCarran international airport (LAS) is a nice place. Do NOT play slot machines there, as the odds are the worst of any place in Nevada. If you have an Amex Cent/Plat card, they have a Centurion lounge which has a full bar, and huge food selection, all for free.
Do not take a Taxi if you don't have to. Taxi drivers in Vegas are notorious for taking "the long way home" and you will be taken advantage of. There is a huge amount of Lyft and Ubers in the city at all times of the day. DO NOT rent a car in vegas. Parking is expensive and driving is pure gridlock.
Last but not least, if you have time, go to the "old strip" which is called Freemont Street. Old vegas is amazing, and there are a bunch of places that should be seen. You can go to the heart attack grill and get spanked for not eating your bacon cheeseburger with 50 strips of bacon, or you can go to the D Casino and have dealers in underwear. Street performers are everywhere, and it is just a good time. WATCH OUT FOR PICK POCKETERS!
Food is expensive in Vegas. The days of "cheap buffets" are gone. A burgefries will set you back somewhere around $20 in the casinos, and the chain restaurants have heavily inflated prices. The best place to eat on the strip is the miracle mile mall that is attached to planet hollywood. A bunch of the restaurants in there offer amazing drink specials and very affordable food.
I hope I covered some basics, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll help you out the best I can.
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Going to Vegas in July - I've been doing my research so hope this can help others.

I'm going in July and have done some research.
Plenty of this is from the sidebar, but other notes are from many of other sources.
The Vegas Degenerate Tour ( . ) ( . )
Things to do:
Tips:
Clubs
Food
Sex/Swingers Clubs (Or; no, you filthy pervert - what's wrong with you?)
Drive:
Drive along east CA down US-395 and crossing over to Nevada after Death Valley is one of the greatest drives I have ever done.
Guides:
Edited to include corrections.
submitted by mkgl to vegas [link] [comments]

Just got back from a 7 night/8 day trip - thanks for all your help, r/vegas!!

You guys were super helpful to me, so hopefully this helps someone else out down the line!!
We (boyfriend and I) booked a package through Southwest vacations, originally staying Sunday through Thursday and flying out on Friday but we stayed the extra two nights and flew out on Sunday in order to meet up with some friends. Originally we had a king room at MGM booked, but changed over to a king balcony suite at the Signature at MGM for the extra space/whirlpool tub.
The vast majority of our gambling was $0.25-$1 blackjack on the video poker machines - we didn't lost much money, and had drinks given to us pretty frequently at most casinos.
Sunday we flew in and got to the Signature at about 10:30am, we were able to upgrade to a 28th floor strip view suite for an extra $10 a night - we had originally been offered a 37th floor strip view suite for $30 a night, but went with the slightly cheaper option. Luckily our room was ready and we were able to take our bags upstairs right away. We headed to Planet Hollywood and grabbed lunch at Earl of Sandwich, walked around the shops then explored Paris and a bit of Bellagio and gambled a bit before heading black to the hotel to get ready for dinner. We took a lyft down to the Palms and did dinner at Alize - we had a groupon for the tasting menu at $200 rather than the original $350ish, but the meal was so incredible I'd probably be willing to pay full price. Originally we had plans to go down a floor to hang out at Ghostbar for a bit, but we were both so full and tired neither of us really felt like drinking. We gambled a bit before lyfting back to the Signature, then changed and hung out at MGM's casino for a bit before heading to sleep.
Monday we each used a free breakfast buffet reward from MyVegas at MGM, then lyfted down to Fashion Show and explored Encore/Wynn/Venetian for a while. We had a buy one get one free Bellagio lunch buffet reward as well, which we redeemed right at about 2:45 so we could get the perks of the dinner buffet offerings that were brought out at 3. Later on we checked out NYNY then took the free tram between ExcalibuMandalay Bay/Luxor and explored and gambled a bit while watching the CFB playoff. Again, we gambled a bit at MGM and made it to Emeril's JUST in time to grab a late night happy hour snack - the sign said 9:30-close, when we got there at about 9:40 the bartenders took our order right away as the kitchen was in the process of closing up. The apps were good, unfortunately we never made it back for oyster happy hour.
Tuesday we did an early lunch at Nacho Daddy (giant plate for about $20, easily fed both of us!) and explored and gambled around Aria/Cosmopolitan/Bellagio. We had a Groupon for a prix fixe menu at Koi at Planet Hollywood which turned out to be a great deal, and we hung out in the lounge for happy hour for a bit before that. We booked KA tickets a few days before flying out through the M Life site, which was an amazing show for a great deal.
Wednesday we used a buy one get one free MGM breakfast buffet MyVegas reward, then lyfted out to SilverCar and picked up a car for the day. We're both only 22 so we really struggled finding a decently priced car, luckily a Vegas redditor recommeneded SilverCar. Cost for the day was $39 and $12 in taxes/fees, and $5+gas. We drive to Hoover Dam/Lake Mead and then Red Rock. Since we had the car we decided to stop at In n Out, then headed up to Stratosphere for happy hour at sunset - neither of us really enjoyed the drinks or the view from the SkyLounge, but we had been spoiled at the Palms a few nights before. We also popped into Westgate, Circus Circus, Lucky Dragon and Rio before heading to the Welcome to Vegas sign and dropping the car off. My boyfriend is a pilot so we popped into the airport observation lot for a half hour or so - unplanned but incredibly cool!! We lyfted down to Caesars, went through the shops then explored and gambled and watched a few fountain shows before heading to bed.
Thursday was kind of rainy and windy, so we slept in and then headed to Aria and each used a free lunch buffet reward. We both thought this was by far the best buffet (and it cost less points than the Bellagio rewards!), and it's definitely on the top of our list to go to again. We lyfted down to Fremont and spent the afternoon/early evening exploring all of the casinos and watching the light shows, then did dinner at Hugo's Cellar at Four Queens. Hugo's was recommended by family friends, we both thought it was OK but not great. We sat down at some penny video poker machines at the Fremont Casino, which happened to be right next to the bar and wound up with about 8 drinks each in an hour or so span. We lyfted back to the Signature and headed to sleep.
Friday we grabbed lunch at Taco Bell so we could officially say we had eaten there, then explored the middle part of the strip (Ballys/Harrahs/Linq/Flamingo) that we hadn't gotten to yet. We wound up with awesome 5th row center section seats for the early show of Zumanity by checking with the box office about a half an hour before the show started, I think the original price would have been nearly $400 after tax and fees and I paid around $170. I would definitely recommend a seat near center stage since so much happens right up front. After that, our friends got in and got settled, then we gambled at MGM and headed down to Bellagio for the fountains and more gambling. My female friend and I were wandering around the slot machines near Hyde while the guys were playing video games, we were approached by someone working the door and let in free of charge in front of the line. We stayed for about ten minutes to see what was happening then left because it was decently crowded and we wanted to get back out to the guys. Late night dinner at Taco Bell finished off our night.
Saturday we once again did breakfast at the MGM buffet, per request of our friends - I definitely wouldn't recommend paying weekend prices unless you're wanting to drink shitty mimosas for two hours straight. For the $55ish we paid for the two of us I definitely wouldn't say it was worth it at all. We then headed to Pro Gun Club a little ways outside of Vegas - specifically chosen because my boyfriend and I are both experienced shooters and I wanted the chance to shoot a 50 cal, but one of our friends had never shot a gun and wanted to be able to shoot a 9mm. My boyfriend was there once before and the staff has been amazing both times - the outdoor range is great. By the time we got back it was nearly dark, so we walked from MGM up the strip to see some more of the strip at night, popped into the In n Out at the LINQ, hung out in different casinos here and there until 7 when we watched the Mirage volcano, then went through the Venetian some more. We took a lyft back to the hotel )damn near impossible to finally get a driver that showed up within five minutes for some reason), got ready and then we hung out at the MGM casino while our friends went to a show that wasn't of any interest to us.
Sunday we checked out of our hotel, checked our bags with the bellhop and grabbed lunch at Earl of Sandwich and hit up the sports book at Planet Hollywood to put some last minute bets down since we realized we could mail the tickets in if we won. We headed to the airport at about 2 even though our flight wasn't until 4:45 thinking that it was going to be insanely busy based on how crazy checkout had been in the morning, but we were dropped off by Lyft and made it to the terminal within 15 minutes. We watched as much of the Packers game as we could and played some last minute video blackjack before finally getting on our flight (delayed by an hour, almost missed our transfer to another plane in Phoenix but luckily they held the plane for us.
We definitely didn't NEED seven nights, but I'm glad we had the time to get out off of the strip for two full days. We got through just about everything we wanted to and didn't feel rushed. Next time we're back we'll probably just stay 3-4 days since we now know what we like and where we'll want to go back.
We actually grabbed a $1 chip from each casino we went into (other than those on Fremont street - we couldn't just get one from the cashiers or one of the dealers, we were told that we had to actually sit down and play which we weren't planning on doing at each casino) and wound up with 30 total, so we covered a lot of ground!
General takeaways -
-MyVegas saved us a TON of money - six free buffets (and a few random non-MGM rewards that we actually didn't wind up using due to the restrictions on when they could be used). I will absolutely keep playing for whenever we go next! We tried to leave slots running on our phones in the background whenever we were watching TV or something, and I played a bit of blackjack most days. We didn't learn about it until about 2 months before we came, and we each wound up with about 50-60k in loyalty points with very minimal effort.
-Lyft was insanely cheap with $5 off each ride - we spent about $50 total for 10 rides (including one to the airport gate, two to Fremont, two to Silvercar which is past the airport) compared to one $25 Uber to get us from the airport to the Signature.
-People aren't kidding when they say wear comfy shoes - I wore my comfiest pair of boots on Monday and wound up with a horrid blister that I didn't know was forming. Monday night through Thursday was hell for me because I had a quarter sized blister on the bottom of my foot - thank god for the $9 pads I was able to grab at CVS
-I do pole/aerial silks so I was insanely excited for Cirque shows, my boyfriend not so much - we both LOVED KA, I loved Zumanity and he at least semi-enjoyed it. Definitely give them a shot!
-Groupon saved us quite a bit of money on dinners as well, and we had a few others lined up for food/drinks/entertainment that we knew we could purchase if we wanted to use them.
-Silvercar is in fact legit, and you will wind up with a Silver Audi - any time we travel to a city with a Silvercar kiosk, we'll actively be seeking them out.
-We learned that rooms at the Signature can be rented on airbnb, which we definitely did not know before hand - just generally looking at prices the rooms on airbnb seemed like an awesome deal and we'll definitely check into that next time we come.
Once again, thanks for all of your help - we saved a ton of money and got so many good recommendations from you all!!
submitted by neurogeneticist to vegas [link] [comments]

SHOT 2017/My tales of adventure in Las Vegas

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
submitted by FirearmConcierge to guns [link] [comments]

My tale of bitter irony at last weekend's show

This is a photo of me. I’ll explain it in a moment.
As you may know, Saturday’s show took place in an unlikely little town where events like a live Harmontown podcast just don’t happen. I know because I live about five minutes from the Casino where it took place. The last nationally known act I saw there was Eddie Money. Between songs he bragged about winning $200 on the Monopoly slot machine earlier that afternoon.
Weeks ago, when I first saw the Harmontown logo on the giant outdoor video screen I envisioned a disappointing turnout that would bring more shame to my region. At least my wife and I would fill a couple spots. On Thursday I figured I’d buy my seats online, avoiding a ticket line before the event. I was stunned, STUNNED to discover the ‘sold out’ message. Even though I always end up driving hours to see great shows, it just didn’t occur to me that people in not-so-nearby cities would venture here. After failed attempts to find a spare ticket on craigslist, twitter, and reddit, my new plan involved arriving before the show in hopes of somehow getting in.
On Saturday I walked through the revolving front door and immediately noticed people that looked different than the folks I usually see at my frequent late night Casino breakfast buffet visits ($6.99, drink included). I stood near the line outside the ballroom. Some of you may have looked me in the eye as I attempted to read faces, scanning for an extra ticket holder. A less socially crippled guy would have just walked the line asking everyone, but my palms just got sweaty as I typed that.
About ten minutes before the show nearly everyone was either inside, or on the nearby gaming floor wearing yellow wristband passes. I could finally make my way to the will call desk. The ticket holder in front of me told them he was signed up for four, but only had three in his party. This gave me hope. After he walked in I asked the hostess if they would admit others to make up for no-shows. Her answer was no. She asked me if I had a rewards card. There’s one in my wallet that’s given me one dollar discounts on their breakfast buffets for years (knocking the price down to $5.99, drink included), but they recently switched to a new system that made my card invalid.
“What would that have gotten me?” I asked.
“A host can invite you into the show if you have a card.”
“How would that work?”
“Well, you can go out there right now and get busy playing!”
The five minutes before the show didn’t seem like enough time to enroll in their new club, and drop the kind of cash on table games that would excite a host enough to escort me into the ballroom. (But that would have been epic.)
I sulked back to the entrance where I saw another unfortunate soul who was visibly agitated. His lack of a yellow wristband told me everything. I watched as he typed anxiously on his phone and looked toward the front doors. I decided that he was waiting for another party who had his ticket, didn’t show up, and wasn’t responding to texts. I figured he was both worried and disappointed about missing the show. Seeing his phone gave me the idea to check twitter again in a last ditch effort. I kept getting an ‘insecure connection’ message, and that was that.
Nine o’clock came and went, and the man remained, working his phone and growing more upset. Thinking misery loves company, I finally decided to approach him. Maybe we could have a drink together while he figured out what was up with his friends. I had nearly mustered the nerve to speak when he started walking toward the front door. I followed until he disappeared into the hotel wing.
Out of options, I grabbed a free styrofoam cup of diet soda and walked to my car.
Back home I sat at my computer and called up twitter to see if anyone was live-tweeting the show. The latest search result for Harmontown was the selfie I showed you earlier. I recognized myself in the background. It had been taken moments after my rejection at the will call desk. The photographer was the agitated man. The caption said, “Two free @danharmon @Harmontown tickets. Find me”

After my chest was done imploding I tweeted at him and got the real story. He and his son had driven three hours to the show, but his son is weeks away from being twenty-one and wasn’t admitted. (Casinos are 18 and up where he’s from.) So dad opted not to go in without him. His frustration only intensified when nobody showed up to claim the free tickets. Cue sad trombone.
Well, thanks for reading my tale. As disappointing as it was, I value these little stories, and this one came complete with a photo and a twist ending. Now I want breakfast food.
submitted by wideeyedrevelation to Harmontown [link] [comments]

Trip Report - A former Las Vegas local returns to vacation in Las Vegas for a week.

I am a former local(moved away from Las Vegas, not by choice) and I go back to Las Vegas at least twice a year, for Labor Day week for the first week of College Football and for March Madness. Stayed for a week, Sunday-Sunday.
Transportation
Flew in on Delta Airlines, and rented a car. I strongly recommend renting a car if you fly in. Las Vegas is bigger than you think, and cab rides/Ubers can rack up quickly. A car is great for convienience. It's better to have a car and not need it, than to need a car and not have one. Makes it easier to get around to places and expand your options of things to do. I did a lot of driving and only had to get gas once, which was $23 to fill up the tank. I paid $110 for the Rent Car for the Week, so I think $135 is a great price to have a car at your disposal to use for an entire week.
Hotel
I stayed at the Palms Place. When I was a local, the Palms was my favorite casino to hang out at. It's off the strip and away from the hustle and bustle and traffic, yet close enough to still feel a part of the action. They have a good, clean casino, a younger clientelle, a great sportsbook, and a pool that has the perfect ratio of quality to crowd. It's a big clean pool, but its not busy and crowded with dozens of kids running around like you find at the strip pools. This pool does get crowded on Fridays for Ditch Fridays, so I went to the Palms Place pool that day.
Palms Place is a great hotel for the price. It's a 4.5 star hotel according to the website I booked it on, Hotwire. You can get this hotel for cheap on Hotwire. It's the only 4.5 star hotel listed in the "West of Strip" zone, so its not difficult to get this one at a discount in the Hotwire Hot Rate section. When all was said and done, after taxes and resort fee, I spent about $700 for the 7 nights, so roughly $100 a night. That's not bad at all, especially for a holiday weekend. My room was on the 23rd floor with great panoramic views of the entire strip, from downtown to Stratosphere to Mandalay Bay. It's a large studio/condo style room with 2 flat screen TVs, a kitchenette, and a jacuzzi tub amongst other things.
Please realize resort fees are a thing and no, you can not negotiate your way out of them(unless you do some heavy gambling I am assuming). Both when I was checking in and checking out there was someone bitching about the resort fee to the front desk agent and trying to get it waived as if they didn't know about them. Every hotel in Las Vegas has them, deal with it or don't stay in a Las Vegas hotel.
Pic of hotel room: http://i.imgur.com/UGwF9Rf.jpg
Pic of the view from hotel room, day: http://i.imgur.com/hp7AKvD.jpg
Pic of view from hotel room, night: http://i.imgur.com/VOeLZoV.jpg
Pic of Palms Pool, Monday: http://i.imgur.com/otSaorR.jpg
Food
As a former local, I pretty much stuck to my go-to local spots when I lived there. There is no need to spend a fortune on food while you are here, you can find good eats for cheap. Most places on and around the strip are tourist traps. I spent no more than $100 on food when I was here.
Sunday I went to a place I loved when I lived here, a burger place called Original Tommy's. They serve burgers, with chili. It's a concept that works very well. I think this place is only in Nevada and Southern California. But it was the first place I went. I ordered a double cheeseburger and chili cheese fries. Cost about $10. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/tbDUyru.jpg
Monday I went to the Studio B Buffet at The M. I am not a big fan of buffets. I feel like if I am going to eat a lot of food, I'd rather eat a lot of one genre of food item that is above average, than a lot of mass produced average food. I went anyway since I still had a complimentary buffet from my last visit. This is still one of the better buffets in Las Vegas, and I'd say the best bang for your buck. It was $24.99 for dinner the night I went. The carved tri tip roast was really good. The other food I ate was average at best, but its buffet food. Still a lot better than places like Golden Corral. But the real highlight of this place is the dessert bar. One of the better buffet dessert bars in Las Vegas. Really good Gelato, and every dessert you can think of. I'd say its worth it for the desserts alone. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/ZDtw8I4.jpg
Tuesday I went to a local pizza place called Napoli. This place has great NY style pizza. What is great about this place is they have a special, which is a 16 inch one topping for $8.99 for pickup. That's a great deal. I bought a 6oz cup of their house made ranch dressing for a dollar so all together it was $11. You can also get free garlic balls if you text a number on the menu. Great value. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/vt6iVCh.jpg
Wednesday I went to a place that everyone should be familiar with, In N Out Burger. This place is on the west coast and in Texas only. It doesn't exist where I live, so I make sure to hit up this place each time I go. I ordered a 3x3 animal style, a double double animal style and animal fries. $13 total. Before you call me a pig, realize when I was here I only ate once a day to keep my calories down. It was good, as usual. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/SWO2eII.jpg
Thursday and Saturday I went to perhaps my overall favorite place to eat in Las Vegas. I love it so much I went twice. It's a hole in the wall wing place on Sunset Blvd called The Chicken Shack. They have the best wings and the best fries. I don't know how they do it but it can not be replicated anywhere. The wings are big and juicy, instead of small and slimy like the ones you get at places like Buffalo Wild Wings. They are also breaded and fried, something you don't see often with wings. The fries are close to shoestring size, but they taste so good. I don't know if its the seasoning, or the batter, or what, but the fries are heavenly.
It's a hole in the wall place thats small and always busy, not much seating. I went on Thursday around 2:30pm or so and the line was nearly out the door. I ordered the #1 Combo which is 6 wings(which are so big its like 12 wings anywhere else), fries and a drink for $9. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/mjmdY6j.jpg
Friday I went to a place I haven't been to before but heard good things. It is a place called Skinnyfats that is off I-15 between Mandalay Bay and South Point. It has two menus - a "healthy" menu which is food that would be considered healthy, and a "happy" menu which is food that tastes good but probably isn't healthy. Me being on vacation, I went with the happy side. Got the Patty Melt with Truffle Fries and the "Buff Chix", which is fried buffalo chicken tenders on top of truffle fries in a bowl topped with ranch dressing. The patty melt was probably the best patty melt I have ever had. It was great. The buffalo chicken tenders were average. I wasn't a big fan of the buffalo sauce they used. I am a sucker for anything buffalo, so this style of buffalo sauce was different. The truffle fries were average, I've had better.
Overall it was worth it for the patty melt alone. Their soda is really good too. It's house made sweetened with cane sugar. I got black cherry cola and it was excellent. Overall cost me $25. The place was very "hipster" in my opinion. The clientelle coming in was young, and if I had to describe them, I would say "Bernie Sanders supporters". Younger, millenial, hipster-ish, dyed hair, thick frame glasses, etc. I felt out of place with my button down pressed shirt and blue jeans. Almost everyone ahead of me and behind me in line, as well as those eating next to me, seemed to be eating off the healthy side of the menu. I am guessing that is the main draw of this place. Pic: http://i.imgur.com/G55y3Vt.jpg
Activities
I am a big sports fan so my week revolved around the sports books mainly. I spent a lot of time watching for college football line moves, and traveling to the certain book that was dealing the line I was looking for. Made wagers at 11 different books. Which was a pain on Saturday Night when I had to go to all those casinos to cash my winning tickets. I made a bet at Treasure Island(because they were the only book dealing a certain line), and I didn't mind if it didn't win because that meant I would have to navigate my way through the strip traffic and parking garage mess to cash it. The ticket won and I had to go to Treasure Island at midnight on Saturday to cash it. With the strip and parking garage traffic, took me a good 45 minutes. Now you know why locals avoid the strip when possible.
As far as watching sports there is no better place to do it than Westgate. This is my first time there since it got renovated and they did a good job. You should easily find a seat at this book during the week, but be careful on College Football Saturdays, NFL Sundays and March Madness. You have to show up early if you don't want to stand. On Saturday I got there at 7:45am, an hour 15 minutes before the 9am kickoffs and the place was already 75% full. If you want to bet, get your bets in the night before. The betting window lines were 75 people deep about 30 minutes before the 9am kickoffs.
Westgate Book, Thursday: http://i.imgur.com/1KA5ffL.jpg
South Point Book, Friday: http://i.imgur.com/xLwArwL.jpg
Westgate Book, Saturday around 9am: http://i.imgur.com/sjDpouv.jpg
I went downtown on Tuesday Night. If you haven't been downtown, I strongly recommend going to check it out at least once just to do it. It's different. If you have been, I only recommend going downtown if you are going with a purpose, i.e. to gamble, drink, watch the free concerts and street acts, do the zipline, etc. Unfortunately, I just went downtown just to go, and so I felt like it was a waste of time since I didn't do anything other than just walk around a bit and see what was new. It was my first time going downtown in 4 years, but it was mostly the same.
Pic of Downtown: http://i.imgur.com/NQN4CQO.jpg
On Wednesday Night I went bowling. Surprisingly this was one of the highlights of my trip. I went to the Red Rock Lanes at around 11am and bowled until it closed and had an absolute blast. On Sunday-Thursday After 11am, the games are only $1.50. So I must have bowled at least 10 games. 3 hours of fun for less than $20. South Point also has a bowling alley, and $1 per game bowling from 12am-8am Su-Th. So if you like bowling, there are good values to be had in the after hours.
Pic of Bowling Alley: http://i.imgur.com/fa2mGrl.jpg
DRINKING & GAMBLING
I didn't do any gambling apart from wagering on sports. I am a professional mathmetician, so I know how the deck is stacked against you on slot machines and table games. I prefer to put my mathematical ability into finding an edge betting on sports. Which I did well. Ended up winning about 10 units betting on college football when all is said and done. This is why renting a car helps, you can more easily travel across the different books to get the best lines.
I only drank once. Bought a bottle of Malibu and drank way too much of it. Since I was pouring it in my hotel room in the dark, I had no idea how much I was using. Ended up blacking out and spent all Wednesday hungover. It sucked. I swore off drinking the rest of the trip after that, it was miserable.
ADVICE
The biggest piece of advice I can give if you are traveling to Las Vegas is to rent a car and then the first place you go should be to Wal Mart or a grocery store and to buy gallon jugs of water. It's hot and you can get thirsty quickly. It's always good to have water on hand(unless you like drinking out of the tap).
If you want to walk the strip I recommend getting up early and doing it in the morning before it gets too hot. This way you can get around without the crowds and the clickers. You won't get the nighttime views and vibes but its easier to get around. The clickers are really annoying and its not just silent Mexicans clicking anymore. I was briefly on the strip Tuesday Night to go from Flamingo to the Linq. The short trek I made from the Linq to the Flamingo I encountered non-hispanic clickers and strip club promoters that were all up in my face and one of them screamed at me and called me a fag when I said I was not interested in the strip club he was aggressively promoting. I never recall them being so aggressive. I think strip clubs are trash that are run by trash and cater to trash, so its no surprise they have trash promoting them.
It seems like there are more panhandlers in Las Vegas since when I lived there, which is weird because I was in Las Vegas during the recession. They are everywhere and its annoying.
Avoid MGM Properties. I ended up doing so this trip to protest their charging for parking. I think its bullshit. Don't reward them. Which is a shame because I have a soft spot for Luxor and go there each time I am in Las Vegas to pay tribute to the first Las Vegas hotel I ever stayed at, back when Luxor was in its prime and one of the better strip properties.
CONCLUSION
Overall it was a great trip. Las Vegas is still my favorite place. I never wanted to move away, and will move back when I get the chance.
submitted by RedditAdminsSuck_88 to vegas [link] [comments]

My experience with Carnival Cruise lines

Recently I went on a cruise with Carnival Cruise lines. The toilets always flushed and the power stayed on but the cruise was still ultimately less than desirable. My vacation on the Ecstasy started on Monday, April 8th. Our party of 27 loaded up at about noon. The kids in our party were excited to go swimming, which was supposed to be open right away. However, the pool was being painted and would be out of commission till the next day. On the third day, they painted the fake palm trees, again by the pool. so the pool area constantly smelled of heavy paint. The first night, 6 out of our 27 were extremely seasick. We heard repeatedly that the ship seemed to move more than other ships they had been on. We were never given an explanation by service, just that we should really purchase ginger ale, wristbands and benadryl. The second night, there was a man dressed as "Captain Jack Sparrow" walking around taking photos with all the guests at dinner. This was a great idea, but "Captain Jack" looked like he had spent 20 minutes finding an outfit in Walmart and drew a beard and mustache on with a magic marker. He was in a hurry to take a photo with you (for a later price of $20) and then leave. He wasn’t there to entertain, it was very much all business. I had always heard that the most amazing part of any cruise was the food, so that is what I was most excited about. The food was less than mediocre. One night, I had ordered a chicken pasta. The pasta was only the macaroni from the lunch buffet with a dry piece of chicken on it. The dinner was never better than alright and by Wednesday I was craving a non-buffet style meal. Carnival Ecstasy advertised a sushi bar. I was very excited about this but it took almost two days to find it. The “sushi bar” turned out to be a small table in the corner behind the casino. It had a small sign that described what the day's specials were but nothing labeling that it was in fact a sushi bar or that it was free. When you ordered, you got two small pieces of what they had that day. One night I went by and you could get a piece of tofu or a piece of cooked shrimp wrapped in rice. The next day they had mushroom or very spicy raw tuna. Even past the spice, I could tell that the tuna wasn't fresh. We had fantastic service from housekeeping and our dinner servers were really spectacular but the rest of the staff seemed to be frustrated with us. I noticed that our servers at dinner were working all morning too. I asked a couple of them about their schedules and the responses seemed to be that they work from early till late with an hour off in the afternoon. I asked one server about recommendations for the afternoon and she was quite nasty to us. As I tried to talk to her about her life and situation, she opened up a good bit and expressed that she was just tired, which seemed to be the general personality of the staff. I felt a little uncomfortable enjoying myself being surrounded by disgruntled staff. One night, a group of about 15 of us went to karaoke in the "Chinatown" area on the boat. They seemed extremely frustrated with us that we were not drinking, assumingly because they were making minimal tips off us. We still ordered sodas for $3 a pop. At one point, a sway of the boat made a drink spill. A server stomped away and came back 30 minutes later, then yelled “Move!” to sweep it up. Instead of ruining our mood, we all decided to leave. Another night we did karaoke and the host seemed to mock every one that got on stage. A young, timid girl sang a song by Adele and the MC keep pretending to fall asleep during her song. Again, we left. On the last day, we were supposed to get off one group at a time. Our group was scheduled to get off the boat at around 10. At 9 a.m. that morning, all the water in the boat was shut off, so no one could wash their hands or use the restroom. Everything shut down before we were allowed to get off the boat. Apparently, the ship was running behind so at 10 they told everyone they could go ahead and leave. This was a horrible idea, because instead of everyone waiting their turn to get off and sitting at tables, we waited over an hour in line while carrying our bags through customs. Despite the unpleasantness, our party was extremely happy to be on vacation and to be together. We tried to maintain a positive attitude but the general consensus is that we will never travel with Carnival again.
submitted by piercedntreck to Cruise [link] [comments]

[Table] I AMA Card Dealer on the Las Vegas Strip. Let's talk Vegas.

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Date: 2012-03-23
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Questions Answers
Have you ever spotted a black jack "crew"? Or seen a "crew" taken out by the casino? I've seen people TRYING to be a "crew." Most people who think they can count cards, can't. Right after that movie 21 came out the casinos were flush with confused college kids whispering to each other, "What's the count again?"
What's it cost to get a hooker to do anal? Honestly, I have no idea. You can e-mail the prostitutes in Pahrump before going in and they would tell you if they offer the service and how much it would cost.
Also, great username.
Do you have blackjack basic strategy down by heart? if so, and I just want to play that way, will you tell me what to do? are you allowed to tell me what to do if I just ask? Related question: do you keep a count of the cards yourself? if so are you good at predicting when a counter is going to make their big bets? Yes, I have basic strategy memorized and some dealers are allowed to assist players, it depends on the casino. I only keep count if I'm bored or I suspect someone else on the table is counting.
My brother-in-law, Bob, was in Las Vegas last week. What did you think of him? Bob was a delight for everyone and a generous tipper. We'd love to have him back again.
If I were to make a trip to Vegas, how would enabling the Wild Wasteland perk affect my travels? I've heard some people say it's what the experience should be in the first place and others say it's just stupid. Enabling Wild Waseland turns the Wild Wild West Casino into a casino based on the Wild Wild West movie adaptation starring Will Smith; I don't recommend it. Plus the walls get all clippy.
What is the deal with counting cards? Is it easy to spot? If so, do you get a lot of amateur card counters trying to do this or cheat in other ways, and what is the normal course of action? Thanks! Very few people actually try to cheat here. Spotting card counters is all in the way that they bet. It's a certain formula with very few methods of deviation so if they don't follow it strictly it doesn't work so nobody is worried about the amateurs. If a dealer suspects someone of card counting, they report it to their pit boss who then watches the game. If the person IS thought to be card counting they are simply denied service at the casino.
What happens if you drop a chip on the ground while dealing blackjack or roulette or some other game? Would you bend down to pick it up or is the risk that someone would take the chips on the table too great? If a chip is dropped I'll call the floor supervisor over to retrieve it. Yes, the reason is to protect the chip rack.
If you were desperate for money, and you had to find a way to take, say, $250,000 out of a casino, what would your plan be? Is there anything you think you could actually get away with? There's too many security guards, surveillance, and key cards to take it in cash. It's not Ocean's 11 security but they know what they're doing. The only other option would be to steal chips but the large denomination ones are RFID tracked so that would be a bust as well. I'd have a better success rate applying for a loan at the bank.
You ever run into any damned NCR? No, this particular stretch of wasteland is ruled by Caesar.
What's your favorite game to deal? Blackjack is my personal favorite. There's a bit of an art to it that I enjoy. We ARE allowed to cut someone off but it's still a little frowned upon.
Are you allowed to cut someone off if they obviously have a problem stopping when they should, like a bartender cutting off a lush? We can also cut people off from drinking, like bartenders.
Can you explain a little more? Is it just that it's hard to tell a guy who's just lost a lot of money from a guy that has just mortgaged his house a third time? The 3rd mortgage story is actually pretty rare. Most gamblers are actually quite good with money. But there are signs we look for to spot problem gambling patterns and direct them to appropriate help.
What other games do you deal? I'm a former croupier. I deal all the games. I used to get high limit black Jack a lot, because I was young, cute and pleasant. That meant more tips and less marks. However, I always had more fun in low level games. I'd take $5 black Jack over hand held baccarat any day. Thoughts? I deal all of them as well, although I'll admit craps is not my forte. I'm always impressed with the ones who do it well. I prefer low-level stakes myself. Baccarat's a hellishy boring game to deal.
What are the signs you look for? Multiple trips to the ATM is one. Suddenly gambling much larger amounts of money is another. Referred to as going "on tilt."
So full tilt would mean gambling large sums? If so, TIL. It's a term more commonly used in poker but yeah, that's what it means.
What's the most you have seen someone win in one hand/night? The biggest I've seen in one hand was a bad beat jackpot dealt in the poker room. The winner left with a little over 250,000 dollars.
What's the etiquette when you make a mistake? I was in Vegas recently playing poker and someone innocently took an extra dollar back from the pot, so the dealer didn't return my small blind. I told him, he said the pot was right, I said I put $6 in and it was $5 total to call, he said I took $1 back, I said I didn't, we go back and forth, he makes some personal remark about my being bad at math and how could the pot be right, I make some personal remark about it not being my job to police the pot and him being bad at his job. Eventually he offered to call the floor but the guy who took the extra dollar gives it to me so no floor is called. What's the correct way to handle this type of situation? If you think a dealer has made a mistake you are correct in telling him immediately. The floor should be called if the situation isn't immediately solved. If the money in question is a small amount (say a dollar or two) then the house usually neutralizes the dispute by putting in the missing money. Larger amounts would go through surveillance though.
Vegas is a magic place to me. I love it so much and I'm planning on moving their in my late twenties or thirties, can you tell me what it's like to live in Vegas instead of just visit? Also, how did you get the job of a card dealer? Locals actually have quite a few perks. Some strip clubs, dance clubs, shows, and etc. have a locals discount or "industry night." The Vegas lifestyle is available to the locals at a cheaper rate but just remember not to do it every day. To get a job as a dealer I filled out an application, passed an audition. Simple as that.
What's the residential part of Vegas like? I've only ever seen the popular areas, Fremont and the Strip, or the deserts. And as far as the heat, I live in west texas and I love working in the dry heat. It's mostly apartment buildings and gated communities alternated by strip malls and bars. The best bars are off the strip, in my opinion.
When were you hired? What games did you have going in on your resume, what did you audition for? I was hired for my current job in late 2010. I had all standard table games on my resume and I was auditioning for poker. Resume's aren't as important in dealing as the audition. If you've been dealing for 30 years and you mess up during the audition, they're going to go with the guy with only 1 year of experience who aced it.
What is the largest tip you have received at the table? Is it possible to pick up a casino employee or is that frowned upon? The largest tip I've received was 600 dollars. I saw a player toss a cranberry (5k) chip to a dealer once. Tips are a big "X" factor for your income and if you're not working at a casino full time it can be difficult to budget.
I'm sorry, I completely missed your second question. Picking up a casino employee is possible and not really frowned upon. Don't expect much from the girls dealing in the "party pits" though.
Can roulette dealers really drop the ball within a number or two? Do you work at a newer casino or an old one? I miss the sports book at the Frontier. How long have you been at this? No, roulette dealers cannot do that. Roulette wheels are checked for bias electronically and any suspicious patterns would attract attention. I've work/ed at newer casinos and older ones. I prefer the character of the older houses but I think the Aria is amazing. I've been dealing for about 10 years now.
I was playing blackjack at the Hard Rock a few years ago when a couple of prostitutes joined the table for awhile, trying to strike it up with my brother and me. They eventually gave up and left. The dealer told us he referred to these girls as "rack rats" because when they are successful, it hurt the house take (chips accumulating in his rack). Is that a general term, or just this dealer's lingo? I've personally never heard it but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a common term. Gaming slang is a lot of rhyming and alliteration. I'd much appreciate it if the whole world would please stop saying "Winner, winner Chicken Dinner."
I'm going to Vegas in a couple of months and I love magic. What are some of the best magic shows to go to and how far in advance should I buy tickets? By far the best magic show, in my opinion, is Mac King's show at Harrah's. Simple, but amazing illusions in an intimate-sized theatre and very funny. Penn & Teller are great as well. The tickets can be picked up for a discount at ticket booths around the strip the day of the show. The kiosks are called Same-Day Tickets or Half-Price Tickets and are a good value. Stay away from the Criss Angel show. It's terrible.
Why is Criss Angel terrible, in your opinion? He spends most of the show posing instead of doing magic tricks. I don't think Criss Angel is terrible, just his Vegas show.
Have you ever met a pornstar with hugely enhanced breasts? Like Kayla Kleevage, Minka, or Claudia Marie? No, but I have met a few pornstars out here. They're generally nice people, although it's always been in relaxed social situations.
How... 'relaxed'? At bars or private/home games. I've never met any at events like the AVN awards.
I have 200 Dollars for the night. What things to do will last the longest / provide me with the biggest value / return (average-common sense) - sights,places,activities ? Depends, are you gambling at all?
Yes, Blackjack ? And Roulette maybe ? But I was thinking in the lines of sites / clubs... If you're going to play low-limit table games you're probably going to want to go downtown to Fremont Street. Set aside about 40 dollars apiece and play the minimum that the table allows. If you want to see a show there are kiosks around the strip and in many casinos that offer discounted tickets for shows on the current day. Clubs are expensive to get into (30 dollars is about average) and the drinks are quite expensive as well (10 dollar beers and god help you if you order anything remotely fancy).
If I won 1 million dollars at the casino would the casino report that to the IRS? Yes, you'd have to sign a tax form similar to a W-2 to receive the money. Depending on how much you'd gambled in the past year you'd have to pay about 30 percent of it to taxes.
The correct form is a W-2G, where they should automatically mail/give you at the end of the year. It tells you all sorts of other fun details as well, such as what kind of wagebet you made, among other details. That's the one. Taxes isn't really my end of the gaming machine.
What's the biggest sucker thing you can do in vegas? I've heard that slot machines are actually terrible odds but people play them anyway... so what are the stupidest ways you can lose your money? Gambling is generally the quickest way, and slots are the worst but I think some of them are pretty cool. I'm someone who likes flashing lights and noise. Many new penny slot machines have been arriving with preset minimum bets like 25 credits but they pay out odd amounts. This usually leads to a player leaving 19 cents or so on the machine and walking away. There's people who just spend all day wandering from casino to casino looking for unclaimed spare change on the machines. It can be lucrative.
Im going to vegas soon with my girlfriend. Im only going to be there 2 nights and a day and a half. What is something romantic or exciting that most tourists dont know about? The hiking in Red Rock Canyon is great although you'd need a car. First Fridays down in the arts district is always fun. There are countless shows (stand-up comedy, theatre, etc.) off the strip. If you're unsure of what to do in a particular stretch of time and need ideas pick up a Las Vegas Weekly. They're available for free all throughout town.
Is this a local law, or something? Or does it have something to do with cost? I don't know but I suspect it's cost-related. Most table games have a 5 dollar minimum bet with a dealer to keep action moving. An undercover cop on the slots could control the pace. I think it's a waste of money either way.
Um..why wouldn't the casino cooperate and just give them house chips to bet with and then give them back? Also can you please tell me a good book to learn basic blackjack strategy (I don't like to always sit in front of a computer) No, the possibility of fraud is far too high to give away money. There really isn't such a thing as "house chips." There are non-denominational chips that are used in roulette as well as specialty chips used for tournament-style play but use of those would blow the cop's cover, obviously. Also, as long as the hookers aren't pestering every player they come across, the casinos don't really mind them so much. They'll need a bed eventually. To learn blackjack strategy (or really any casino game) I'd actually recommend sitting in front of the computer a wee bit longer and visiting wizardofodds.com. It's a great resource for gambling smart.
What's the most interesting thing that you've ever seen? That's a big question. It's all VERY interesting. You'll have to be a little more specific.
Has anyone ever made a scene over losing a large amount of money? As a dealer, you develop quite thick skin. People will call you names and curse a lot but very few actually cause much of a scene. If a scene is caused, security is usually called and they usually eject them.
I am going in a couple days with some friends. However, I don't know how to play any of the table games. Do you know any good sites/videos to learn games like poker for a beginner like me? Actually, many of the major casinos offer free classes that teach you how to play, usually in the mornings from 9-11 am. Many casino games can seem confusing or intimidating. My advice would be to take the free lesson and, if it seems fun, don't be afraid to throw a few bucks on the real thing. Just don't spend all your time in the casinos.
What's the etiquette for requesting tips? I had a lucky night at the blackjack table and the dealer was being an asshole telling me my "generosity has been outstanding" is it harder work for me to win? fuck that guy. amiright? You are right. Tips are voluntary and even if we suggest it, we do it in a way that makes you think it's your idea. Some dealers have no tact and that's sad.
Is it not considered rude to ask a guest to tip though? Yeah, it is but some still resort to it since many people don't know. Most guests that aren't accustomed to tipping will tip after realizing it's the social norm ("when in Rome") but if coerced into tipping will not be likely to later.
Are tips pooled? Do you rotate tables? I imagine the tables with larger bets get bigger tips. Tips are earned on a table-to-table basis when you deal cash games in poker. Table games (everything else requiring a dealer) generally pool tips and divide them equally on a 24-hour timeframe. All dealers rotate into all games (except for Poker, which is usually a completely separate department) at one point or another. Unless there's a generous high roller most of our money comes from the more numerous, smaller tips from low-limit games.
How does it work with high rollers? Do they carry the cash they bet with? For example, if someone's playing a $500 minimum bet table, I would assume they'd buy in for 10 to 20 bets worth of chips. Do they really just throw 5-10 grand down on the table? And then you call out "Changing ten thousand" and proceed to show every bill to the camera, turn it over, lay it down (and probably cover the entire table 2-3 times over) and then stuff all 100 $100-bills into the cash box? Or do they establish some sort of credit with the casino and just get chips based on that? They usually get a line of credit for the higher stakes players, yes but you'll occasionally get the high roller that throws up a few grand on the table in cash. I've seen more than a few people carrying 10k bundles around. There's a guy who plays poker down on Fremont Street called The Duke of Fremont Street (you don't say?!) who carries around a violin case full of cash, gold, and gold money clips stuffed with cash. Some people just like the attention.
Besides the line of credit they often have deposits at the cage where they get their chips or wired it in before they plan to enter a casino. Correct me if I'm wrong, MrVegas. You speak the truth.
Do you like Fallout? Sure do. Big fan of the games. The map of New Vegas is somewhat accurate although not to scale, obviously.
What is considered a decent tip at a table? Took a reasonable amount of money from the Cosmo a few months ago. I'm a cheap ass who didn't intend to gamble much and finished my trip playing $25 per hand blackjack. If you were my dealer, I hope my tip was appropriate. Most poker dealers will get a dollar a hand as a tip. Since poker isn't a house game that tip isn't necessarily a "thanks for the lucky hand" but more of a "thanks for moderating the poker game." If you're playing 25 dollars a hand and you are dealt a blackjack, the blackjack will pay 37.50. A common tip on that would usually be the 2.50 but we appreciate a dollar tip/bet. Anything over 5 dollars (that isn't a high-stakes game) would be considered generous.
Fuck you let's not talk vegas. So tell me. What do you think of ohio? I've never been there. The astronauts seem to hate it though.
What did you think of Nick Papageorgio? That guy from Yuma who works in software? Nice guy. My friend fitted him for a suit once. Although I heard he stole some tourist wallet once.
Have you ever seen a person or group of people successfully count cards and leave with a profit? Or are they all losers? I've seen it done to varying degrees of success, it's just not very common anymore, at least in Las Vegas. Most card counting groups operate in smaller Indian Casinos where the dealers are less likely to be trained against it. Opening a brand new casino in an area new to gaming is like ringing the dinner bell for card counters.
Do you have herpes? No. Condoms are widely available in Las Vegas and encouraged.
Is a royal flush really that rare? The odds of a video poker machine dealing you a royal flush on the deal is a little under 650,000 to 1 (happened to me once). As a poker dealer, I've dealt four in 10 years, although I've run into dealers who've gone their whole careers without dealing one.
You mentioned that you have been a dealer for 10 years. Do you see yourself doing this until you can retire or do you see yourself moving up? If you want to move up, what do you want to do eventually? I could easily see myself doing this for awhile. It's fun, easy money and casinos are the best places in the world to people watch. If I moved up I'd probably like to teach dealers. I view dealing as somewhat of an art form and I'd like to reteach the "right" way.
Is card dealing a specialty? In other words, have you never worked craps or roulette? I'm always amazed at how craps dealers can keep track of everything at a busy table. Pretty much everyone is called a dealer whether they actually "deal" anything or not. I have worked craps and roulette as well. I'm kind of bad at craps, I'm sorry to admit but roulette's fun.
What's the deal with the garish, ugly carpets you see in casinos? I think many of them are just trying to unique. When you line them up right next to each other one mega casino is pretty identical to the next so they have to out-gimmick each other in every way. Also, many casino's carpet is actually coded to indicate areas where minor are and aren't allowed. There's usually a yellow brick road of sorts to registration and elevators.
Ok, if you see someone thrusting hard, what do you do? I hope what they're thrusting into is enjoying the attention and I leave them to their business. I'm not sure what you were asking here...
Are there any films that have accurately portrayed what your business is like? Not really, in my opinion. I honestly think it could be a decent (can't believe I'm saying this) reality show but the corporations that own the casinos would never let us speak frankly.
What kind of cards do you use, bicycle?, a deck specific to the casino?, or something completely different? Most casinos use Kem or Copag cards for poker. Anyone who plays cards at home should pick some of these up. They're pretty difficult to mark, bend resistant, and they're perfect for parties. You can wash them in the sink! Blackjack and other card-based table games generally use custom cards made for the casino. I've never really paid attention to what brand they are since they're changed out so often.
My wife & I are going in a few months. (4 days/3 nights). I plan on playing/losing ~$100 on roulette and avoiding the card games. We are mostly going for shows (I'll check out those booths you mentioned) & food. One of the days I plan to send her to a spa and I want to check out some sport related gambling. Where is the best place for sports betting? Is there live betting (quick bets as in : Will Verlander strike the next batter out?) I've always thought the LVH (the old Hilton) has a really nice sports book and their odds have always been fair. The kind of live betting you're looking for is usually the kind of action you'll get from the other patrons in the sports book. The casino doesn't have time to set odds on that short of notice.
What's the deal with craps? I went on a cruise and they had a video on casino games on a continuous loop and i'd watch the craps session over and over and still not get it. i also went on a little mine-class in the casino, was still drawing blanks. is there a "Explain to me like i'm 5" with craps. Craps is confusing because the objective of the game changes so frequently and the odds are somewhat strange. Unless you want to go in-depth with game strategy I'd suggest putting your money on the pass line and throwing the dice until they tell you to stop. Not the best advice, I know, but I'm not a huge fan of craps.
I'll be in Vegas this June, what are the best night clubs? Is it best to buy tickets for the clubs and shows before hand or just go with the flow once I'm there? It's a little pricey to get in (40 dollars last time I was there, if memory serves me correctly) but the Moon nightclub at the Palms Hotel is pretty damn cool. Open air at the top of the building. I'd buy the club tickets in advance since they're usually the same price. Half-price ticket booth the day of the show you want to see.
What is the best local restaurant in Vegas? Like, residential area restaurant. The Asian food out here is great. The Chinatown District on Spring Mountain is packed with awesome food. Just pick one.
I am going to Vegas for my first time in a couple of weeks. Any tips, advice, where is the most fun to be had for the lowest price? Thanks for doing this AMA! There are lots of groupons available for Las Vegas. The pinball museum is a cheap way to burn an afternoon.
Also -is there a proper etiquette when playing with other people (eg Don't hit when a dealer has a bust card), or is it every man for himself? Proper etiquette is to shore up your hand against the dealer's without harming the other players. Hitting when the dealer is showing a bust card has started more than a few fights that I've seen. Practice basic strategy and try to make sure you're playing with people who do the same.
Swingers club? The two popular swingers' clubs are The Green Door and The Red Rooster. Ladies get in free (of course), single men pay a pretty high cover charge, and couples get in for half price. They're... interesting places to meet people.
If someone is counting cards but is also a generous tipper, do you let him get away with it a little longer? Tipping is one way of diverting attention and, yes, it does work. However, as I stated elsewhere, card counters have to adhere to certain rules and formulas regarding their wagers. They've made blackjack a business and tipping is bad for business.
What are some tips to get casino comps? Also what is your favorite buffet in Vegas? (We go to Vegas for the food and right now our Favorite is the Bellagio) Ask for them. The biggest thing is shyness. There's a lot of people gambling in a casino at any given time so if you want your play to be evaluated for comps, simply tell the dealer or floor manager. I don't eat at the buffets too often.
Do you prefer I give you straight tip or put your tip down as a wager? Alternating them isn't a bad way to go. Or you can always ask the dealer.
What's the strangest thing you've ever seen while dealing? Wilford Brimley calling me a cocksucker.
How much do you make per year? It varies, of course. It averages out to around 38-46k. I'm not a rich man but I enjoy the hell out of life.
Is it worth doing a hooker? That's up to you man. I know people who've had bad experiences with them and I've had people who've had great experiences. Not all hookers are diseased and misguided. Some are business-minded and know that they're offering a service and do so professionally.
What do you think about older smaller casinos. Have you been to the tropicana lately? I enjoy a lot of the smaller places. The Clarion is a great locals hangout and so is the Greek Isles. I was at the Trop yesterday. They recently remodeled almost the whole place. Looks great.
I heard the casinos make applicants take a hair test before getting hired...is this true? Yes, you need to pass a drug test (usually hair) to get hired at nearly all casinos. It's only the one unless you do a union job though.
So when it comes to poker, "tight is right"? I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. Could you elaborate?
Thank you for counting my cards when I'm a little slow. You're welcome. You're there to have fun, not to do simple math all day.
I hear there are hookers in Vegas. How much would it cost for the hooker and I to get naked, except for sailor hats. Then we get into a Jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, and I clip her toenails while she shaves my buttocks. 3000 dollars.
Prostitution is illegal here in Clark County. Just felt like pointing that out. I couldn't resist the Rat Race reference. Yes, prostitution is illegal, BUT you can drive about 45 minutes west to Pahrump and get a legal hooker at a brothel.
Dont a question for you, but this was the best AMA I've read in months! Funny answers, and detailed answers for the serious questions. Thanks. This is pretty fun, I've got to say. This is my first AMA and I genuinely like informing and entertaining people. It's probably why I love my job.
Yes, I'm referring to the playing style. Either you place "loose" and play a lot of hands. Or you play "tight" and play far less hands, the best hands. Poker strategy is slippery and no one credo or saying is right. If you're a beginner it's best to play a little more conservatively but you'll need to able to change gears eventually.
Unless he was controlling a single deck with both hands, never. Right answer.
10% Generous/Grateful 5% A welcome but standard tip 1% Depending on your attitude towards me, may have been an insult, or just a cheapo. Never feel like a tip is an insult. I make nearly my entire living by people tipping me one dollar at a time. "Cheapos" pay my bills.
I've personally never heard it but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a common term. Gaming slang is a lot of rhyming and alliteration. I'd much appreciate it if the whole world would please stop saying "Winner, winner Chicken Dinner." Also, the savvy prostitutes will only pick up guys from table games. Vice cops can play slots undercover to try to lure in hookers but can't play table games.
Last updated: 2012-03-28 10:18 UTC
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The Palms A.Y.C.E. Buffet Las Vegas All You Can Eat Brunch

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